Today is the last day of, and the last few hours of the first month in 2012. I am hoping to blog at least once a month and I am getting this in because in just a few hours this month will be over. This blog will be different there may or may not be pictures. This blog is more about me exposing my own inner threads rather than pictures. It has been quite an eventful month. My camera of 4 years may or may not have kicked the bucket. If it did it is time to move on and start saving for a new one and if it didn’t then I will be really excited and start saving for a new one after I get my motorcycle. It has been 2 months now since I have not used a credit card. Strangely enough this has been harder then quitting drinking. I no longer feel like they own me, I feel free even though I am still tied to them until the last dollar. In my mind I am free because I know that I have broken up with them and that our relationship is over. It has also been the most liberating 2 months, every month I pay them back and don’t use them it is like saying the greatest fuck you that I could ever say. I am doing the Dave Ramsey plan, I think he is pretty genius in the way teaches people about money. It has changed my life and it feels so good. I now feel and can see a way out of this.
Clay has found its way back into my life. I spent a Friday or 2 ago filming, and taking pics. of Kirsten working on the hands at The Florida School of Massage. I took this quick clip with my phone and it is not one of those fancy phones either it is a metro pcs wanna be fancy phone that I love and feel thankful for having a consistently cheap phone bill no matter what I do. Someday I will be an i phoner maybe, but by the time I go there who knows what will be the best. I say my phone is not fancy but it is the fanciest phone I have ever had. No the megapixels don’t compare to others and the internet works kind of slow but it is pretty close to as amazing as the stuff that me and my sister wondered as kids would ever happen.
SOME DAY THIS WILL LOOK LIKE
Here is a pic. of the guy that invented the cell phone on his first cell phone call ever .
If the i phone was carried through a company that I could get all of the perks for $50 a month no matter what then I will upgrade but until then I am pretty content with my metro phone. Kirsten lent me her pottery wheel. All I need to do now is get some clay. This spring I will be able to chill out under my carport, throw pots, film myself throwing pots etc. I am about to embark on a new artistic endeavor which I think will provide me with infinite amounts of fun and inspiration and that is working with Art Clay Silver. I am going to be working with clay that is really composed of silver and once I hit it with a torch it will harden up and within a few minutes it will transform into jewelry. Stay tuned for all of the new exciting adventures to come. Until then I will be going to sleep wishing I was at the beach.
I hopped on my bicycle for the first time in a few months. Optimistic and excited about being active and outside and curious about what I may find on my journey today. When I got to the La Chua trail the sun was beating down heavy on me and I knew I was not there at the magical lighting time of day.
I could see and feel nothing except for the sensation of being too hot. I am amazed by this ever changing prairie. Everything was so grown out it was hard to see any creatures beyond the sun. I decided to take the path less tread upon on my way back. I had given up on seeing anything interesting and to taking any pictures. I just wanted to escape the heat and get back on my bike and ride the shady part of the hawthorne trail before returning home. All of the suddenly I saw 1,2,3,4,5 butterflies all together just waiting to have their portrait taken I am sure. I very sneakily and patiently snuck up to them in hopes that they would not fly away. I took some pictures. Got closer took some more. Got even closer and doug my elbows down into the dirt and took some more pics. They did not leave. I have startled many a butterfly pollinating a gorgeous flower. But these Pollinators had me in shock. They were all getting down on some horsey dung. They were so into it that they did not even care that I was there. Is it possible that this dung is even more of a treat than a flower. There were beatles underneath the dung moving it all the while the butterflies continued to surf the dung and fight for the juiciest spot. Again my elbows are in the dirt….Fortunately not in the dung and I am in utter amazement. I love that nature never fails to amaze me and even when it seems like there is nothing going on on the praire there is more happening then I will ever be able to imagine. I will admit that I did start getting hungry watching them chow down on this pile of dung. The butterflies were almost at full capacity for this dung cafe.
I forgot about the heat, the dirt, the smell of shit, and was over taken by the beauty. By the contrast. I love contrast. Eventually I left after spending quite a long time with them. I am leaving. On my way out I find a smaller pile of dung with more butterflies getting down. I am amazed that they don’t seem to be bothered by me.
I do some research when I get home and find out they are so down with this dung because they are getting salts and other nutrients. I also learned that they drink their meals so who is up for the dung diet smoothie.
To find out more about butterflies you can go to many places online here is one I just checked out. www.gardenswithwings.com/facts-info/FAQ.html
Finally I am so hot and hungry I can’t take it anymore and as I am heading to get on my bike and ride home I look down and I see a little furry ball with bones peaking out at me. I pick up the ball of fur I look into it. It is filled with goodness. I look up in wonderment of where the owl was that spit this up. I have been learning a lot about owls from my co-worker Charlotte Loomis and I know that the owl must be just above me. I shuffle through brush. I look beyond the glare of sunlight. I try to use my camera as binoculars I take a few pics. I am sure that this is the owl but damn it is well hidden. Suddenly I have to move because my feet are covered in ants. I stay a bit longer. I don’t get a good picture of the owl but I get the thrill of knowing that I think I know where it is. I leave I hop on my bike I hit the hawthorne trail again. I feel my glutes burning, I am loving it, I feel my lungs grasp for air. I am out of shape but having a great time. I let my cat smell the treat when I get home because he is so nosey and loves smelling everything.
I have recently been thinking about what a wonderful tool qi gong is for personal transformation and for my photography. Today I went outside very resistantly to do my qi gong practice. I missed 2 days in a row and was just feeling really down in the dumps. I was feeling quite angry, scared, judgemental, and sad and I did not want to do qi gong even though I new it would help me shift. I went outside into my backyard and found a wonderful place in the shade to stand and do my practice. I could hear the woodpeckers and see them much better than I have been able to in the past. There was 1 wood pecker a few hundred feet off to my left and there was one that kept inching closer to me just about 20 feet away. I remembered following a woodpecker a few weeks ago and everytime I would get close enough he would fly to the other side of the tree. While doing qi gong I realized that he was not trying to hide from me but perfectly in my vision for quite a long time. I began to really realize that doing qi gong makes me much more a part of my environment and allows me to meld into my surroundings. The woodpecker was able to have time to sense my energy and to choose whether to come into my field of energy. I watched this beautiful creature as i moved my arms and breath. It is important for me to really become a part of something before I just start clicking away on my camera. I decided to get my camera after my session of qi gong. I knew that It would be different leaving the field and then coming back. I came back and the woodpecker was gone. I stood and waited, I sat and waited I was able to get a shot or two. I am now going to bring my camera with me on my qi gong journeys so that I can remain in the space without having to re-enter. I can wait for the woodpecker or other animal to share itself with me rather than chasing it down. I will continue to share my journeys on here. Through qi and phototgraphy. Everything is so integrated. What a beautiful morning. I feel less angry, sad and judgemental. I am looking forward to what I may see as I explore photography with more patience. Here is a little bit on woodpecker medicine that I looked up online http://www.birdclan.org/woodpecker.html I just found that my birth totem animal is the snake http://wolfs_moon.tripod.com/birthtotemsnake.html